Not In A Happy Place

To be honest this morning I’m like a silent anti-christ.  Himself is awake and up this is not the norm and while he’s not bothering me it’s bugging the bejaysus out of me – and it’s nothing he’s done.

I’m back to not sleeping properly so that has my moods hitting ‘in the black’ and my diet hasn’t just fallen off the wagon but it’s now lost in some sort of deep dark abyss.  This is leading to self loathing, shame and tight jeans as you can guess this doesn’t help my mood.  I know I can do something about it all and while I desperately want it to be different I’m not sure if I can summon it up within me.  I think it will be enough if I can manage to stand still so to speak.

Work is getting on top of me too.  It’s rare that it does but right now it is – when I was out last week it looks as if there wasn’t much done by way of cover – well in a way that’s understandable ’cause the poor lad was covering two jobs but at the same time that’s asked of most of us in there and we are somehow a bit better at it.  so now I have to pick up the pieces.

I’m sitting here and all I want to do is cry but to be honest I’m too knackered to do so.  I’m running late for work and I just can’t get my ass in gear 😦

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